Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Change .... seems to be in the air...

So, after a very busy summer, and no time for relaxation, I come to you with news. As Greece prepares for its elections, I have focused on my own small, but important, changes. As I am writing this post, I am in the process of closing up my language school, and opening a smaller establishment, and basically finding a more economical solution.

The past two days have been quite difficult, throwing away the excess of 15 years of my life seemed daunting at first, but as the first bin bags departed, I realised that I should do this more often. Building up a business is not an easy job to do, and as I opened files and notebooks full of teaching plans, comments, marks, it became all the more obvious that I had detached myself from that part of my life. 15 years suddenly disappeared, and I felt that I was starting a new adventure, a new life. Reading my way through my "trashing everything" day, I was surprised at myself for not feeling nostalgic, and then, as if I had been hit by a bolt of lightning, I opened my financial documents for the last 15 years. That was when it dawned on me that the amount of money I had lost in this business was far more than anything I had gained. All I could see were numbers flashing around the pages - the "Joneses" owe 500 euros, the "Smiths" owe 1000 euros. At one stage I sat at my desk and thought, let me just add up what I am actually owed, but as I punched the first page into my calculator, it was clear that I really did not want to go there. So, along with all the other rubbish, the file just fell into the bin, and a weight disappeared from my shoulders. Gone were the memories of the " I'll come and bring you the fees next week," and " we're just having a few financial problems at the moment, but we'll get the money to you by next month." At that moment I just let them go.

I am not giving up teaching, don't get me wrong, but I am making changes. I have to bring up my 2 children and give them the necessary things they need, but I plan to do it on my terms from now on. So in May this year, I decided that this would be the end of negativity and the beginning of a new me.

30 garbage bags later, and 10 boxes of necessary stuff, I have almost finished the packing. My heart feels lighter, and the smile on my face remains. I know that I have done a lot of good in my years here as a teacher, but I also know that my potential is so much more, so without any feelings of remorse, I carry myself, and only the good memories, into a new tomorrow.